Is it best to get a lawyer for divorce?
If you and your spouse agree on all the terms of your divorce, you can file for an uncontested divorce without the help of a lawyer. However, it is always advisable to at least have a lawyer look through your agreement in an uncontested divorce to make sure that your rights and interests are protected.
Should I sign divorce papers without an attorney?
No, you don't have to sign the divorce papers. The reality is, however, if one person wants to be divorced, then, in general, there is going to be a divorce. It sounds like you don't want to sign the papers. It also sounds like there are a number of unresolved issues in your case.
Do I have to show up to court for divorce?
Failure to appear means you have skipped a scheduled court date without notifying the court. You can be charged with contempt of court, and the judge can issue a bench warrant for your arrest. While such measures don't usually happen in a divorce case, you still should always show up in court if required to do so.