Can a spouse be charged with abandonment?
It's important to understand that if you have children who are financially dependent on you, and you abandon them without support, some states can charge you with a criminal abandonment, in addition to allowing your spouse to use it as grounds for a fault divorce. (Wash.
Do you give your spouse a copy of the divorce papers before their files?
In all states, the spouse asking for a divorce must file a divorce petition (or complaint) with the local court and complete “service of process,” by making sure the responding spouse receives copies of the divorce paperwork. In most states, the answer is no, you may not deliver your own divorce papers.
What if my spouse filed for divorce first?
If you file first, you control when the divorce gets filed. You can decide to cancel the divorce, as long as she hasn't filed a response. You have until your spouse files an answer to your complaint to cancel the divorce. By filing first you are the plaintiff and she will be the defendant.
What happens if you never get served divorce papers?
If you were not served, then you can move to set aside the default and force her to start over. If the only issue you are concerned over is custody and visitation, then you can just file a motion to modify custody and visitation.